I lived life in survival mode, not living mode. I was living just to survive. I was suicidal as early as 12 years of age. My voice had been taken away, so I’d thought. I remember being talkative, creative, and a dreamer. When I felt that my ideas no longer mattered, I just started this downward spiral of self-pity and hopelessness. After much criticism for my dreaminess, I decided to keep them to myself and I began the betrayal. IT is funny how I would blame others for mistreating me when I was the one who treated me the worst.
I thought to myself that I would never be who I once was. My youth was filled with imaginations that were out of this world literally. I loved dreaming. And I loved love. I loved to love and to be loved. I loved how love changed a situation. It was clear to me even as a child how effective love is when you let it come in. I could see people’s heart as a child. The treasure…the real person, the one that waits to be awakened to love. The Love of oneself, the world and others. The one that looks like their heavenly father and sees the world through his eyes. The eyes of love. How beautiful they are:
Your eyes are lovely
I can finally see what they see
The direct gaze of your eyes causes me to understand
Truth revealed to my way back in eternity
When we shared daily what I would be
Now I am here, and finally all becoming real
The uniqueness of my creativity, every stitch was on purpose
Intelligently designed to display a fabulous wonder of splendor and glory well beyond the surface!
I know that he is the happiest when I am becoming the very thing that he created. I know he is happy when I find myself surrounded by his love.
Love is so direct, there are no misunderstandings…love is very clear. The whole world desires to understand love. Never misguided….true to its nature…pure in its deliverance. Everyone knows love when it comes. Love is severe in its strength! It is lasting to generations and generations. Love has been defined by poets and artists for years. The definition has remained the same for as long as time. Long doesn’t change, but yet it changes me constantly. Love has changed me.